Leaning on the fore rail, wrapped in the monotony of the life of a saltwater sailor, a sudden sea breeze brings me the imaginary perfume of your skin and fills my head with thoughts that until now I had tried to hide in the most deep in my soul to keep my determination to travel the world firm.
Each day that I have been away from you is marked in red and I am now on the third calendar, if my calculations are accurate I will only need one more. Then I will return to that port from which perhaps I should never have left, at least not without you, but I already know that this is not the life you want.
And maybe I’m stupid to keep thinking that you’ve decided to wait for me despite the time, despite the distance. Surely someone else discovered all that value that I found in you one day and that I did not know how to jealously guard, and perhaps managed to fall in love with beautiful words and noble actions, you may even get engaged or married, who knows if by now you will be waiting. your first child.
However, I do not lose hope, and despite the insinuations that are presented to me in each port where I stop my route to buy provisions, I will not give in to the succulent temptations, but I will keep myself only for you, although then everything is in bucket.
I hope you have not forgotten the promise I made to you on the pier that April 15, in which this senseless adventure began. That promise that I am going to fulfill even if it costs me my life, that life that I have tried to build in this world, which calls me to great successes and greater disappointments, great recognition and greater loneliness.
And with the bitter hangover of a poorly made decision, I let myself be guided by this ship that limits my freedom and annuls my will, which gives me moments of regret and loneliness like this one.