Until today I was one of those who thought that when they have to give you good and bad news, it is always better to hear the good news first, because you are fully happy before preparing to receive the bad news.
As I said, this situation was like this until today. Today I have felt like when everyone talks about you, but you can’t tell if it is for better or for worse. That uncomfortable uncertainty, that our positivism pushes us to perceive with expectation, even joy, but that so many times remains in mere disappointment.
You taste the honey of success on your lips, but then it turns out to be poisoned or expired, or you just don’t know or can’t digest it.
It is the storm that destroys the calm, it is that occasion when you are happy because you got a good grade, but your friend has been suspended. It is also when your effort and your work, guided perhaps by blind faith, ends up in the paper container in the nearest corner.
And what is left for you but to resign yourself and get back up? Well, you are left with the lesson that risking is calling for failure, that innovation is only done by crazy people and that illusion has an evil stepsister, who does the hell with it.
Disappointment, deep disappointment in myself, for not measuring up once again, for failing knowing that you can’t always afford to win. Then the worm of conspiracy, deception, partiality appears in your mind, to remind you that victory distinguishes between successful and mediocre, that the work of others detracts from yours.
But you know that it is not like that, that failure brings you closer to victory, that humility is a cure for pride and that work always gets its just reward, that simplicity is the quality of being cautious. This is why today the aftertaste is more bitter than ever.
I suppose that to know how to win, you also have to know how to lose.
«I don’t know what is on the road but I have to cross it,
if I stumble and fall trying, there is nothing to lose, you
have to understand that you have to fight, there is nothing to fear,
I have to believe in myself and nobody is going to stop me »