I thought I had forgotten you, and I don’t mean you, but YOU: the slim girl with long hair and rosy cheeks, the one I hardly know and never dared to speak to; the one who believed that he went unnoticed among the people; the one that stands out in humility; the one that with her shy smile could illuminate a morning that threatened rain; the other little woman who inadvertently was beginning to take over my attention.
It was by chance, I was not looking for it, but the bad (good) thing about rummaging through old photographs is that they have the power to awaken melancholy, return to memory those special moments that you always wanted to remember (forget) and force a deep sigh of resignation that expresses the incessant longing to be able to go back in time and relive that experience or sensation that was beginning to fade in that small place in the mind where memories are stored.
And it was suddenly, without giving me time to take a deep breath and prepare my heart for a sudden and unavoidable spike in activity caused by old, poorly healed arrow wounds that a skilled winged archer successfully fired.
Then my eyes were fixed on you and, slowly moving over your face, they tried to meet your gaze, but they were unsuccessful, because you were looking into infinity, you were daydreaming. You were sitting, leaning slightly forward, with one hand resting on your knees and the other holding a lock of hair seduced by the breeze.
And I close my eyes and remember: it was this summer, or the previous one, or every summer, or not at all, because there is no worse way to forget than with despair.
Illusion lost by my own defects, by my inconsistencies, by my mediocrity, by my cowardice and my lack of perseverance. I was left in the middle of a race in which only I am, and in which it is not possible to be second. I’m not up to par and you deserve better, I admit it.
Time is wasting fast and opportunities are running out. The solution is in my hand: continue as before or change and make myself worthy of a woman (as extraordinary) as her …
«In the distance I can see you
when your photos I sit down to see«